At Mocrap, we
will not post a testimonial section. Well, we could, but that wouldn't be any fun!
If you are not cut out for this service, and you have the cahones* to
complain about it, we'll share those e-mails here.
We'll also share angry comments from customers too. We
will soon have a brown nose section which will list the biggest
brown nosers in our client base because we think it is funny.
Some selected Q&As:
New ones:
Q: Why can't I
sign up yet?
A: Fuck off!
Q: I want
unlimited everything like the big hosts do.
A: Fuck you, fuck them, fuck that unlimited shit.
Q: You swear too
much! Why?
A: No fuckin shit? Really?
Q: I'd like to
upgrade to something bigger. Can I?
A: Mocrap ain't ready for your booming corporation asshole, maybe
later. But if you are referring to your pecker, then maybe try
Viagra. Spammers send mass messages about that. You probably
need it.
Q: I saw another
site like Mocrap. Are they better than you?
A: Fuck you, fuck them, we were first.
Q: I loved the christmas card...can I get another copy?
A:
Happy Fricken Holidays from
MoCrap.com
Q: How many
customers does mocrap have?
A: Actually it is none of your business, butt head, but we are
barely taking care of several thousand now. If you ask any more
dumb questions we will move your site to the slowest server we have.
We do take better care of the suck ups we love around here.
Old
ones:
Q: From some
idiot: "Why were you closed so long? You suck!"
A: We can close this business to new idiots like you
anytime we want to. For asking, we don't want you to sign up
with us until January! We take vacations whenever we feel like it
too.
Q:
"Why do you treat
people so poorly? That's not right."
A: I cannot
believe you asked this question! If you get bent out of
shape so easily, go away. We don't want your kind here. ha!
Q: "You should be
ashamed of yourself for swearing at people, that's not
professional..."<blah blah, this guy went on and on and on and on!>
A: You don't get it do you? You must be full of shit to ask
that. We don't swear a lot asshole. This is how we run
things shit head. If you don't like it there are plenty of other
places to go to butt wipe. Freedom of speech even applies to
business monkey shit.
Q: My content is
questionable and can get me in trouble with the authorities.
A: Well, we get that from time to time. If you are an
idiot to host things that get you in trouble a lot, we don't know who
you are and your site may or may not be online if it really causes us
problems too. We know nothing.
Q: (not
a complaint) You guys
rock! I love mocrap!
A: Well, nice of you
to say that. Brown nosing does get you far with us.
Keep it up. Here's some free features for you.
Q: "I want my
money back!"
A: No hablo inglés. Usted es un idiota.
Q: From some
guy: "No support? Really? That sucks!"
A: Duh!
Q: From some
other dumb
guy: "What's your phone number? I can't find it!!!"
A: 1-800-EAT-CRAP
Q: "When can I
sign up already?"
A: Our answer: "You
didn't read, so you are not allowed to sign up when we open the flood
gates."
Q: "Can I pay with
Canadian Dollars?"
A: "No! No Canadian money, no Euros, no Pesos, no monopoly
money.. everything in U.S. Dollars buddy."
Q: "I signed up
and in 5 minutes my site isn't online, why? I just registered a domain
too. I want my money back!"
A: "You are an idiot.
When you figure out how to get a brand new domain on the internet within
5 minutes, you let us know."
Q: "You junk guys don't work at all and ask for thousands of
dollors for the work you do.. you guys are fit for nothing... for your
kind informtion a third world - 3 years experience IT engineer can do
the work of 25 years experience USA IT Engineeeeeer... this indicates
that how much dumb fellows you are... And you are telling that whoever
offers domain registration for $5 are crap... but Yahoo is giving domain
names for less than $3 dollors.... do you think that yahoo is crap...
You Junk guys are telling that you charge extra $5 if we register domain
name with others... you guys are crap shit junk....."
A: (First off, we
feel this genius needs to learn how to spell and is offended by the fact
we don't have to hire outsourced staffing from overseas and honestly it
doesn't matter about the cost now - we evened up the playing field) We
do give him credit for trying to spell because maybe he just learned
English yesterday so he's doing quite well isn't he? Anyway,
because this is impressive we'll explain why: We actually feel
this is a fine candidate for our service. Ha! Yes,
yes, our service is now getting so popular that because we took away
support, the whole hosting game is now a different business game that he
probably doesn't even understand yet. We may not have cheaper
domain registrations, but we can if you kiss our asses enough.
But, the truth is (for this brilliant person here), those who actually
charge less than the cost of the domain are making money by another
means...Shall we say spam? How about selling all your personal
information to the highest bidder? This guy may be a great IT guy from some
other country, but he is a bad business person to not see that. ha.
We won't fault him for not being smart enough to see that.
Free domains are worse - something pays for that. Come on,
think! However, we like this guy... he is perfect for Mocrap
because he is somewhat thinking unlike some of you We like
people that think even though they cannot spell worth shit. Sick
huh?
*
What's cahones? You know how to use
Google right? Duh! Look it
up!
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