The policies are all here -
and are updated from time to time so deal with it:
- No porn sites.
Why? We just don't need them here. Enough said.
 No spammers.
If you have to wonder why, you're an idiot. All spammers
or abusers will have all their information posted on our site in the
hall of shame.
- No racist sites.
These are just plain uncool. Go host such sites
elsewhere.
- There is no need to
advertise Mocrap - but if you do, you may get brown nose points for
doing so. Or not.
- No whining unless
you want to be publicly humiliated. You agree to the abuse
during the sign up process by the way.
- You can use other
registrars for your domains, but if you are stupid enough to use one
of those cheap registrars that are below $10 a year, do not be
surprised to find an idiot fee on your account. You can
ask us why another time. But seriously, we'll take good care
of your domain here.
- No idiots trying to
build a fortune 500 company out of our affordable services.
- You agree to take
our abuse and minimal support if you ever do get a hold of us somehow
and you will like it. The truth is you need no support.
If you have to ask for something, you better have a good reason for
it. If not, we reserve the right to charge you for your
mistake.
- Go screw yourself if
you want unlimited bandwidth.
- Minimal tech support is
minimal tech support. Don't be an idiot and ask us why.
Minimal means you are asking for something you absolutely know for a
fact that it is something only we can do for you. Like
deleting your account for asking stupid questions for instance.. no
problem, we can do that for you if you ask us to.
- If you recommend a
novice to our service, you and your novice friend will be talked
about in our site and we may shut your site off for a few days too.
We'll turn it back on when we feel the punishment was long enough.
- If you do something
stupid like crash your own site due to bad code, your site gets
turned off for 1 business day as punishment. Do it again, it'll be for
one week. "No site for you" if you keep up that stupid
trend.
-
No money back
guarantee. What do you expect? Don't do a credit
card charge back because that adds another $25 fee to your credit
card bill for even attempting a charge back. Don't be stupid,
you agreed to our billing policy and the banks will always side with
us hands down. Only exception is when the card was
stolen and you are the asshole that stole the card. We'll
gladly return the money to the owner of that card.
That's just plain obvious.
- If you go over your
space or bandwidth, we charge your ass for using more. Plain
and simple. It's cheap so don't complain either way.
If you were not smart enough to pay for space ahead of time, you'll
always get billed the highest rate for surcharges here.
We have to eat too.
- You agree to pay for
our lawyers in advance if you have any stupid reason to sue us.
You will definitely be posted on our site in our HALL OF SHAME if you even remotely come
close to talking about it. We provide you with a great
hosting service, you just agree to have zero support and get abused
from time to time if you do communicate with us somehow.
- If you have a
business and you decided to host with us. First of all, that's
fine. Second of all, don't get all high and mighty and expect
better treatment because of it.
- Don't get big headed
if you recommend people to us. We love it, but don't expect
squat. Maybe we'll send you one of those e-cards or
something stupid like that. Or if you brown nose us
enough, we just might give you some free credits for your account so
you can spend it on more crap.
- Don't ask to be a
reseller or ask for discounts. Actually, resellers
should go
away - you will only hurt our fine reputation by trying to have
attitude like us because you will not be able to
provide our fine high quality tech support level anyway.
Seriously. If we catch you reselling, we'll turn your
accounts off for one week per resold account. If you
insist on staying, you turn over the accounts to the real customers
provided they are capable of handling our abuse. We know
some of you are thinking about it. We wish we can reach
through the screen and choke you for even considering it.
- No storing of
illegal warez and MP3s either. We don't care if you
bought the commercial MP3 - it does not have a place on our servers. Period.
If we like them, we'll take a copy and then delete them without ever
telling you. If we find porn, again, we may back those up and
then delete them. If you don't know what warez is, get
out of here now. Your web site account is not for
storing your shit either... this isn't a backup service for your
stupid desktop. If we find your turbotax or other non
web site related files on our servers, we'll delete them.
Maybe we'll see how bad you are with your bill paying ability first.
- All your content
must be related to your site. Don't hide crap, we'll
find it and delete it. Maybe delete your account too.
- If you want to store
commercial stuff you do own and want to promote (like demo music of
your sorry ass band you are trying to make famous), figure out a way to contact us for
permission first. You wannabee bands and musicians, you
can work with us, but seriously don't be an idiot and store full
blown versions of your music here. Go to some commercial
service that distributes music correctly and leave us alone.
- You must use our
mocrap name servers or we shut your account off. Why?
Because we want to maintain a clean network and not have idiots who think they know DNS use their own stupid DNS service
or their own name servers out there. It's dumb and we
don't like other name servers other than our own to be used.
We'll delete your account if we catch you. That's our
rule, its simple and most I.T. people respect it. If you don't
respect it, take a hike.
- No monitoring
services are to be used. You're an idiot for believing
you can monitor a site over the wire effectively. Those are
all scams. Save your money and understand our network is
solid and we monitor our own servers - and they do belong to us -
they are not yours to monitor. If you monitor your site
with ping or whatever, we will delete your account. No
questions asked.
- You will pay your
bills on time. You will add the acceptable pre-payment
amounts according to our billing policy. Don't be stupid
and make payments in increment of 3 cents. We will
cancel you and the person that recommended you to our service in a
heart beat.
- If we do not like
your group or cause (like you run some stupid gun carrying
anti-whatever group in the middle of no where) we'll nuke your
account because it actually is not welcome here. Mainly for
security reasons to be blunt. Freedom of speech works both
ways buddy. So don't give us shit and give us your
freedom of speech bull shit - because we are protected by the law
that states we can refuse business to anyone we like to.
This especially is for you pro-Al Qaeda site owners. We
cannot host your sites here, not because of our preference, but
because of our country we reside in that kind of frowns on such
things. Details. Not to mention, such sites get hack attempts so much
that you just need to get real and go somewhere else.
That should be obvious bozo.
- If you are in a
country that is on the U.S. trade embargo listing, man oh man, don't
get us involved with the political mess your country got itself in.
There is a reason for that stuff, so go to a host that is friendly
toward your nation. Probably not many out there, but
seriously, we don't want to piss off your government let alone ours
by hosting your sorry ass. Just don't host with us if
this is the case ok? Get real. Many U.S.
hosts don't know there is a huge fine plus jail time with regards to
U.S. companies doing business with people in nations on the embargo
listings - we just happen to actually respect the law more than
them. Not to mention, we happen to have great lawyers
that support this company to assure that is the case.
Don't even think of trying to use mail forwarding services - we'll
catch you. You are supposed to be smart, not a law
breaking idiot.
- Mocrap has the right
to charge idiot fees to anyone doing something stupid. Fees
range from a buck to ten bucks.
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